I am currently sitting at my computer while two brawny men put together my new NordicTrack treadmill. Yes folks, I finally caved in after attempting to be satisfied with hand-me-down exercise videos and a Wii game system. The last couple months has been slow going and dealing with so much technology has given me more frustration that fitness. In the attempt to actually be successful with my New Year’s resolution, I have gone back to the original method of weight loss that I had so much luck with after high school: good old fashioned walking. It’s more cost effective than joining a gym because I’ll always have this piece of machinery. It’s like buying a home instead of wasting money on renting an apartment.
The other benefit of buying one of these fine pieces of equipment is that they deliver it right to your home and set it up for you. And the advantage of that, ladies, is that there is currently some FINE eye candy in my apartment right now. I usually don’t go for blonds, but boy, one of these men is handsome, and the two of them are engaging in masculine activities. They hauled the treadmill up three flights of stairs to my apartment, have a slew of tools to assemble the machine, and have removed a layer of clothing. Maybe if I’m lucky, my radiator will come on and they’ll have to remove their shirts too, because I really want to see those bulging muscles unleashed from the tight t-shirt. The golden god, as I shall henceforth call the blond one, is a chiseled, rugged, model-type, sweaty, and wielding power tools.
Come now, you say, you’re objectifying these poor men who are just doing their job. Well, I say two things to you. First, men have objectified women since the beginning of time, so it is only fair that we get to do it right back at them. Second, NordicTrack should not employ such good looking delivery men if they want to protect their dignity. All I can say is that today is shaping up to be quite good: attractive men in my house as an added bonus to the delivery of my long-awaited purchase.
You know you’re jealous.