Obviously, this whole blogging thing does not come naturally to me. I only wrote posts when it’s something that weighs on my mind and I feel that I need to get it “out there.” And generally, I’m much more likely to write or vent or whatever you may call this, when I’m angry, sad or upset. You don’t see many “hey! I’m so incredibly happy, look at me!” posts. Maybe it’s my Midwestern upbringing. It’s uncouth to brag about your own a accomplishments or your own happiness. Who knows. But the whole point of this is to update you all on my most recent posts.
I tried really hard to make my “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” post about myself and my actions. However, in order to fully understand the emotions and the blog post you needed background, and I was angry. Really angry. So, unfortunately, I’m afraid my intentions did not match my actions. It was not fair of me to put something so personal on the Internet. I don’t mind, but I didn’t take into consideration his feelings.
He’s not a bad person (he might actually be too good a person). I am no longer mad (although it was a lot easier when I was) and I don’t want you, reader, to be mad or think badly of him. We’ve talked and it boils down to us both being confused by this weighty emotion. Admittedly, I am much more confused than he is when it comes to love (I don’t love easily), but we’re in this limbo or purgatory period in our relationship. Do we jump right in and try to move on in order to not become lost “in the thought of us” or do we shove all our emotional baggage into the back of our minds and turn our focus to new things, like spin classes and scrapbooking and holiday parties? Should we even forget the idea of us at all–is that idea really lost forever?
So, that’s what this is. An apology to everyone for involving you in our emotional drama and especially to him, for not taking his feelings into consideration when clicking “publish.” I hope you all have a wonderful new year and I hope 2014 brings you love, joy and happiness.