I really meant to write a post about my recent, quick travel through the historic appalachian region. However, as often happens in life, something else came up.
That something was, of course, a boy. Now, I’ve had quite a few male friends in my life. And either by luck, the grace of god, or perhaps I’m not as desirable as I think I am, I’ve managed to keep a lot, strictly plutonic. Granted, there have been friends who I ended up dating, but in every case, the guy made the first move toward dating. (Full disclosure: I asked one friend out, but I was 90% certain he’d respond affirmatively based on his previous behavior toward me.)
It could just be that things have been very dry date-wise, but I found myself thinking about a friend of mine and noticing how handsome he is. Despite all my bravado and self-confidence, I did not (or at least I have not yet) mustered up the cojones to ask him out or slip him my number suggestively. I have however come up with a number of brilliant excuses for myself: He’s a friend. He probably isn’t interested. I want to move away from here/where he lives. He might be dating and/or interested in someone else. He’s probably too busy. Given his previous girlfriends, at least the ones I know about, I do not seem like his type.
I’m really quite good at reasoning away my cowardice. Not one of my best traits.
Honestly, I’m terribly impressed with men right now. They’re the sex that’s expected to do the initial asking. It’s intimidating. I know this. That’s why I generally have a policy that if a guy asks me out, assuming he’s not uber-creepy and I’m single, I will go out on at least one date with him. I figure if he is willing to put himself on the line like that, that’s one good trait that deserves some looking into.
How hypocritical does that make me? I really should just bite the bullet and ask if he wants to have a picnic or a hike or watch a movie or something in the near future.
But what if he says no? Or what if he says yes and it turns out he was just being friendly? After all, he is a very nice, friendly guy like that.
Le sigh. Why does even a simple thing like a question become so difficult when it comes to dating?