We started off this blog with New Year’s resolutions. In response to Cornflower’s post, I’ve decided to make public one of my resolutions in hopes that it will have a positive affect on my progress this year. In other words, I am publishing my resolution so that it will force me to follow through with it, knowing that you, readers, are holding me accountable.
This year, my resolution is to lose 30 pounds. Losing weight is a common resolution, and the back-to-back diet, gym, and meal plan commercials during the first week of January will attest to the popularity of this New Year’s objective. Why am I different then? Well, I’m not, but I am hoping that sharing my ambitions and (hopefully by next January) my success will be both entertaining and inspiring.
I’m not new to this kind of goal for myself, and in the past I’ve been successful. During my senior year of high school and the summer before I started college, I managed to loose about 30 pounds and have kept almost all of it off since then, but I think I still have a long way to go. Without getting too heavy (pun intended) for this blog, I’ll just say that I didn’t have the best school experiences because of my weight, among other things. I was bookish, friends with more teachers than students, and completely incapable of talking to boys. It didn’t help that I had been overweight since middle school. It wasn’t until college that I finally came out of my shell with friends who liked me, quirks and all, and the confidence that had come with feeling better about my physical appearence after losing a few pounds.
What I’m hoping for now is that I can recreate that transformation with my older, wiser self. Admittedly, I’m still the same girl who’d feel more comfortable chatting with her friends than walking up to a guy at a bar and striking up a conversation, but I’m pretty sure that my lack of confidence is linked inexorably to my body image. I won’t even pretend to be high and mighty and claim that I’m doing this to be healthier; heck, I never met a vegetable I didn’t like and my cholesterol is under 100. I’m totally doing this because I want to feel better about myself because I’ll look better. There are already some adorable dresses at the back of my ridiculously small closet bought in anticipation of losing a dress size one day (we’ll tackle the shopping problem later).
If I’m going to be honest with you, I really do feel out of place sometimes when I go out with my lovely friends because of how I look, and I’m tired of constantly comparing myself to my imagined perfect shape. I know I’ll never be a size four, but I can certainly improve on what God gave me. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I’ve got junk in the trunk; “My Humps,” they are a-plentiful. For once though, I’d like to feel like I am in control of how I look and maybe learn to love leaner curves. I know I’ve got the family hips (there’s a family nose too which I thankfully didn’t get), and from previous experience, I’ll have to outwit genetics yet again. I know in the end the payoff will be worth it and maybe the new me won’t be so shy anymore.
It is going to be a rough ride, and I’ll need you to be cheering for me! I’m certainly not one of those people who enjoys exercise. It’s so terribly, horribly boring and there are many more interesting things I could be doing with my time, like reading. And since I can’t afford to join a gym, I’ll be struggling to do adequate workouts in my home with some hand-me-down fitness DVDs and a Wii Active game. I’ll be grumpy, I’ll be miserable, and I’ll definitely think of quitting before I even start, but, I’m going to do it. I’ve typed it and put it out there in the world for you to see, so it is real now.
Maybe I’ll inspire some of you to get in shape too, or to do something else to boost your confidence this year. Do you have suggestions for fun workouts? Words of encouragement? Care to join me in my quest? Comment below and keep your fingers crossed!